Maintaining an amazing, exciting relationship in the hectic, fast-paced world we live in today, is slowly but surely becoming a challenge. People are working too hard on a daily basis, trying to provide for themselves and their family. This usually means working several jobs, having a couple of side hustles or simply continuing to work after you get home because you didn’t manage to finish everything at your primary job. With little to no time for leisure activities, it’s hard to focus on your partner and put in some extra effort to make things work.
Why is my relationship like this?
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Establishing a healthy work-life balance should be a top priority for all adults, yet no one teaches us, in school or elsewhere, how to balance our private lives easier, and how to compromise and improvise to strengthen our relationships. In this case scenario, you may be fooled that your relationship starts to look boring, not being aware of your participation in it, or not being aware of the living conditions that affect your partner and your relationship in general. Maybe you’re too tired when you get home and you just want to have some good night sleep. That’s why brainstorming about your partner’s needs seems almost impossible.
On the other hand, you may have all the time on your hands, but you still feel like something is missing. It’s a common thing for partners to slowly distance themselves from one another, due to lack of communication, misunderstandings, lack of creativity, trust or commitment issues, or simply a lot of leisure activities that don’t include your partner. According to a recent study, 80% of people do the same thing, first thing in the morning. No, it’s not brushing their teeth or kissing their partner good morning. It is checking their phone! Another study shows that by doing this, people neglect their partners and slowly break the bond that is built with their partners, by choosing to interact with their cellphones instead. This is a modern problem, and it can seriously damage your relationships, not only with your romantic partner, but with other people as well.
What can I do about it?
Many people complain that their relationship has completely changed after the honeymoon phase, which is the name for the period when people were crazy in love, at the very beginning. It’s a common misconception that over time, you need to put in less effort than you did when you first started your relationship. It’s quite the opposite. Before you let the daily routines take over your life, transforming your relationship into just another routine, you should take action and think about all the things you can do to spice things up. Luckily, if you don’t have that much time to think or you lack ideas, we made a list of things that could easily motivate you and help you put the spark back into the fire!
1. Schedule date nights for the month ahead
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This may seem ridiculous to you, but picking one day per week and putting it in your calendar as the day for your date night, will make a significant difference in your mindset. The intention behind this is not to make your dates become a routine thing, a habit or something you do automatically – it’s the exact opposite! You need to bring awareness of spending time with your loved one, and be more conscious about the process. If you schedule date nights for the month ahead, you will remember to find a new, cool restaurant, buy a new outfit or surprise your partner with a small gift. Over time, this will become your favorite thing to do, and it will go spontaneously.
2. Seduce their mind
One of the biggest relationship problems is the lack of intimacy or a sex life that is no longer interesting or satisfying. The key to solving these problems is – communication. Although we all know that, it’s not that easy to communicate with your loved one, since you may feel like there’s a wall between you. Building trust and bonding are the first things you need to do, to be able to move on and spice things up. Keep in mind that stepping out of your comfort zone is the number 1 key to success. That’s why you should encourage your partner to share their fantasies and desires with you. But since this isn’t an easy thing to do, you can start by reading other people’s fantasies on websites such as eroticatale.com together. It’s a great way to become curious and to verbalize your hidden desires. Plus, it’s proven that words are even more arousing than pictures, so instead of watching porn, try reading erotica stories.
3. Wake up all their senses
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Use some physiological tricks to spice up your relationship. One of those tricks is scents! Your sense of smell is one of the most powerful tools and factors in your relationship. We all know that pheromones do their thing and that we’re also attracted to people on another, scientific level, but fragrances and colognes are what brings back memories, helps us attach and activates certain parts of our brain – the limbic system for example, which is in charge of your emotions. Beautiful scents also affect our mood both consciously and unconsciously. Surprise your partner with a new perfume and watch their reaction. Buy relaxing candles. Prepare food together! This will help you connect on a different level.
4. Be unpredictable
One of the most important things in a relationship is to be creative. Mercifully, it’s not that hard as it seems. You just have to do something differently. If you are used to watching TV and if your sex life is usually limited to your bedroom, then it’s time to make a change! This will bring excitement to your relationship and a little bit of mystery which is always a good thing. Surprise your partner and book a room in different hotels every once in a while. Don’t be afraid to go over the edge by planning out some action in a restroom of a fancy restaurant, in the backseat of your car, in nature on your weekend getaway, or on top of a skyscraper that you’ve chosen to visit. The element of surprise for your partner is what will bring the relationship back to life and make it exciting and fabulous.
5. Focus on the touch
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It’s been proven that hugging your partner increases the levels of hormones such as oxytocin and it also reduces the negative feelings in your body, so don’t underestimate the power of hugging and snuggling with your partner and focus on doing the exact thing! Hugs and touches are great foreplay and are another way to connect with your partner but this time physically rather than emotionally, mentally or physiologically. The power of touch is unlimited so if you feel like your partner is distant or your relationship is boring, just try to kiss them, hug them and cuddle with them more, and you’ll soon realise that your relationship is getting better without you even noticing!
