When it comes to sex, there’s a lot of noise out there. Tips flying around from all corners of the internet—some useful, some laughably off the mark.
As someone who’s spent years interviewing people from all walks of life, including relationship therapists, sex educators, and yes, everyday couples just trying to figure things out—I’ve picked up on what actually lands and what usually gets an internal eye roll.
So if you’ve ever wondered what men really enjoy in bed (and what leaves them feeling… meh), here’s what people are actually saying behind closed doors.
Why It’s Worth Talking About
Look, sex isn’t just some mechanical checklist—though I bet some of y’all have tried treating it that way. It’s a dance, right?
A sweaty, sometimes clumsy, always human dance. Guys might not always say it out loud, but certain moves light them up, while others leave them wondering if they should fake a cramp to escape.
And let’s be real—whether it’s experimenting with new positions or trying out things like penis sleeves, curiosity is half the fun.
I’m not here to preach or judge—just to share what I’ve found works, based on real feedback and a sprinkle of science. Plus, it’s fun to peek behind the curtain of what makes men tick in bed.
Moves That Hit the Spot
Source: copl.be
Confidence Is the Real MVP
Guys lose their minds over a partner who owns it. I mean, not some over-the-top, scripted porn-star vibe—more like you knowing what you want and not being shy about it.
Studies back me up here: a 2022 survey from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found 78% of men rated confidence as the top turn-on. So, maybe it’s straddling him like you mean it or guiding his hands where you want them.
One dude I talked to put it like this: “When she takes charge, it’s like, damn, she’s into me—and that’s hot.” Hesitation kills the vibe; certainty sets it on fire.
The Slow Tease
Rushing is for amateurs. Men love it when you build the tension—think kissing his neck, letting your hands wander, or even just hovering close enough that he can feel your breath. It’s less about the destination and more about making him want it so bad he’s practically begging. A friend of mine swore by this trick: “I’d just graze him with my fingers, super light, and he’d be a mess in ten seconds.” Science says anticipation spikes dopamine—basically, you’re hacking his brain into wanting you more.
The Eye Contact Flex
Okay, hear me out—locking eyes mid-action is clutch. It’s intimate, it’s raw, and it’s one of those things that sounds cheesy but works like a charm. Guys I’ve chatted with say it makes them feel seen, not just like a prop in the scene.
One study out of Rutgers even tied eye contact to stronger emotional connection during sex. Doesn’t have to be a staring contest—just a quick, intentional glance can flip the switch from good to unforgettable.
Enthusiasm Beats Technique Every Time
Source: kama-sutra-palace.com
You don’t need a PhD in Kama Sutra. Men don’t care if your moves are Olympic-level perfect—they care if you’re into it.
A guy I interviewed laughed about his ex: “She’d try all these fancy positions, but half the time she looked bored. I’d rather have her just vibe with me, y’know?” Passion trumps precision. Moan a little, laugh if it’s awkward, let him know you’re having fun. It’s contagious.
The Stuff That Falls Flat
Overacting the Part
Nobody’s buying the Oscar-worthy performance. Fake moans or exaggerated “oh baby” lines? Most guys clock that a mile away, and it’s a buzzkill. One poor soul told me, “I felt like I was in a bad movie, not a bedroom.” Keep it real—quiet’s fine if that’s you, just don’t force it. Authenticity’s sexier than a script.
The Dead Fish Routine
Lying there like a starfish hoping he’ll do all the work? Nah, that’s a pass. Men want a partner, not a mannequin. Doesn’t mean you’ve got to be swinging from the chandelier—just move with him a little, touch him back, give some sign you’re in it too.
A 2023 study I dug up showed mutual engagement ranked higher than solo effort for male satisfaction. Makes sense—he’s not trying to feel like he’s performing a one-man show.
Ignoring the Feedback
Every guy’s different, and what worked on your ex might bomb here. If he’s squirming away from something, don’t double down—pivot. One fella griped to me, “She kept doing this one move I hated, like she was proving a point. I just wanted to tap out.” Pay attention. Ask if you’re unsure. It’s not a test; it’s teamwork.
Too Much Choreography
Trying to nail some elaborate routine can backfire fast. Sex isn’t a talent show—overplanning kills the flow. A buddy of mine once winced through a story about a date who “had this whole playbook, like she’d rehearsed it.
I just wanted to chill and feel it out.” Spontaneity wins. Let it unfold messy and natural; that’s where the good stuff lives.
Little Extras That Seal the Deal
Source: loversphere.com
Okay, so beyond the big moves, there’s smaller stuff that sneaks up on guys in the best way. Whispering something dirty—or sweet, depending on the mood—right in his ear? Gold.
Running your nails down his back, not too hard but enough to wake him up? Yup, that’s a keeper. Even just cuddling up after, not bolting for your phone, makes a difference. One guy I quizzed said, “It’s the little things—like her laughing when I messed up—that stick with me.”
I found a cool stat while digging around: a 2021 Kinsey Institute report said 64% of men felt more satisfied when their partner mixed physical moves with emotional closeness. So, yeah, it’s not just about the mechanics—sprinkle in some warmth, and you’re cooking with gas.
Wrapping It Up
So, there you have it—a rundown on what gets guys going and what sends them running. Confidence, a slow tease, real enthusiasm? They’re in. Fake vibes, zero effort, or ignoring the cues? Hard no.
It’s all about finding that sweet spot where you’re both feeling it, no pressure, no playbook—just you and him figuring it out together. Next time you’re in the moment, play around with what feels right. You’ve got the intel now—go make it fun.
